Insights for High-Achieving Professionals
High-achieving professionals often carry significant responsibility while managing chronic stress, trauma, or sustained performance pressure. This page features articles on trauma therapy, EMDR, somatic approaches, and addiction treatment for professionals across Ontario, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Alberta.
Trauma and Alcohol Use in High-Achieving Professionals: The Performance Trap
When Achievement Masks Coping
Many high-achieving professionals do not identify as “addicted.”
They may:
Drink nightly to decompress
Rely on alcohol for sleep
Use substances to turn off work stress
Justify use as “functional”
If performance remains high, concern is often minimized.
But reliance increases gradually.
The Nervous System Connection
Chronic stress and unresolved trauma activate the nervous system.
Alcohol temporarily dampens that activation.
Over time:
Tolerance builds
Emotional regulation weakens
Stress resilience decreases
The pattern becomes cyclical.
Why High-Achieving Professionals Delay Seeking Help
Common barriers include:
Fear of reputational damage
Belief they should handle it alone
Identity tied to strength and control
Concern about time commitment
Therapy does not need to be indefinite to be effective.
A Structured Approach to Trauma and Coping
We provide trauma-informed therapy for high-performing adults using:
IFS-informed therapy
Somatic regulation approaches
Our 6-Week Trauma Reset offers a confidential, structured path for professionals ready to address both trauma and unhealthy coping patterns.
You do not have to wait for collapse to seek support.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you are searching for trauma therapy for high-achieving professionals the answers below may help clarify whether our approach is a fit.
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Yes. We work with high-achieving professionals who are navigating alcohol use or other coping patterns linked to stress and trauma.
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Yes. Trauma and chronic stress can dysregulate the nervous system, and alcohol may temporarily reduce stress responses. Over time, reliance can increase.
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Yes. Therapy is confidential and delivered virtually to ensure discretion and privacy.
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No. Many professionals seek therapy because they notice increased reliance on alcohol or other coping strategies and want to address it early.
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The 6-Week Trauma Reset is a structured program designed for high-achieving professionals who want to address trauma, burnout, or unhealthy coping patterns in a focused, time-limited format.
EMDR Therapy for High-Performing Professionals in Ontario: What to Expect
Why EMDR Works for High-Performing Adults
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an evidence-based trauma therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing memories.
High-achieving professionals often carry:
High-pressure childhood environments
Perfectionistic standards
Cultural or family expectations
Workplace trauma
Medical or relational trauma
These experiences shape stress responses that continue into adulthood.
EMDR helps resolve the root patterns.
What Happens in EMDR Therapy?
In EMDR sessions, we:
Identify present triggers linked to past experiences
Activate the memory network safely
Use bilateral stimulation to support reprocessing
Install adaptive beliefs
Reduce emotional intensity
Clients often report:
Reduced reactivity
Increased clarity
Decreased emotional charge
Improved sleep
Less reliance on alcohol or avoidance behaviors
Is Online EMDR Effective?
Yes. Research supports virtual EMDR therapy when conducted by a trained clinician.
We offer online EMDR therapy across Ontario, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Alberta.
Is EMDR Right for High-Achieving Professionals?
EMDR is particularly effective for professionals who:
Feel stuck in repeated patterns
Overthink but struggle to shift behavior
Experience burnout despite success
Want measurable progress
Our 6-Week Trauma Reset integrates EMDR in a structured, focused format.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you are searching for trauma therapy for high-achieving professionals in Ontario, the answers below may help clarify whether our approach is a fit.
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Yes. We provide online EMDR therapy to clients across Ontario, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Alberta.
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Research supports the effectiveness of online EMDR when delivered by a trained clinician. Many professionals prefer virtual EMDR for convenience and privacy.
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EMDR is effective for trauma, workplace stress, burnout, performance pressure, anxiety, and unresolved past experiences that continue to impact present functioning.
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Yes. EMDR can be particularly helpful for professionals who feel stuck in repetitive patterns, emotional reactivity, or chronic stress despite outward success.
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The 6-Week Trauma Reset integrates EMDR sessions alongside structured therapy to create focused and measurable progress.
Why High-Achieving Professionals in Ontario Struggle With Burnout (Even When They Look Successful)
You Look Successful. You Feel Exhausted.
Many high-achieving professionals in Ontario appear composed, capable, and driven. They manage teams, run businesses, lead departments, and carry significant responsibility.
Yet internally, they often feel:
Chronic stress
Emotional exhaustion
Irritability or numbness
Difficulty resting
Increased reliance on alcohol or other coping mechanisms
Burnout in high-performing adults is rarely about weakness. It is often the result of unresolved stress patterns and unprocessed trauma driving performance at a cost.
The Hidden Drivers of Burnout
Burnout among executives, healthcare professionals, lawyers, and entrepreneurs often stems from:
Early pressure to perform
Trauma masked by achievement
Performance-based identity
Chronic nervous system activation
When your nervous system has been conditioned to equate productivity with safety, slowing down can feel threatening.
This is not a motivation problem. It is a regulation problem.
Why Coping Tools Alone Don’t Work
Many professionals try:
Time management strategies
Mindfulness apps
Fitness routines
Vacations
Reducing workload
These can help temporarily. But if the underlying stress response system remains activated, symptoms return.
Sustainable change requires processing—not just coping.
How Trauma Therapy Helps High-Achieving Professionals
At Hartwell Counselling Therapy Group, we provide online trauma therapy across Ontario, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Alberta using:
IFS-informed approaches
Somatic therapy
We help professionals:
Understand how past experiences shape present stress
Regulate the nervous system under pressure
Process stuck memories and beliefs
Reduce reliance on unhealthy coping patterns
A Structured Option: The 6-Week Trauma Reset
Our 6-Week Trauma Reset is designed for high-achieving professionals who want focused, measurable progress.
It combines structured talk therapy with trauma processing sessions to address burnout, chronic stress, and performance-driven exhaustion.
If you are ready to address the root—not just manage symptoms—book a consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you are searching for trauma therapy for high-achieving professionals in Ontario, the answers below may help clarify whether our approach is a fit.
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Yes. We provide online trauma therapy for high-achieving professionals across Ontario, as well as British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Alberta.
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Yes. Burnout in high-performing adults is often connected to unresolved trauma, chronic stress, or long-standing pressure to perform. Addressing the underlying nervous system patterns can reduce persistent exhaustion.
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We use EMDR therapy, IFS-informed therapy, and somatic approaches to help professionals process stress and trauma at the root level.
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Yes. Therapy is confidential and conducted in a secure virtual setting. Many professionals choose virtual therapy for added privacy and flexibility.
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Yes. Our 6-Week Trauma Reset is a structured program designed for high-achieving professionals who want focused, measurable progress.
High Expectations in Relationships
High Expectations in Relationships
It is hard not to feel the gravitational pull to excel at life. Articles and social media posts about extraordinary achievements constantly bombard us daily. Living an ordinary life can feel like we are falling short.
When we have high expectations of ourselves, we often hold our partners to similar standards. This can lead us to being critical of our partners, seeing them as less-than because they do not share our values. For example, one of my clients characterized her husband as unmotivated because he preferred to relax on Sundays, rather than tackle their to-do list. If this judgment continues, it can lead to a negative view of the relationship, and wondering whether we have chosen the right partner, (John Gottman calls this Negative Sentiment Override).
High expectations can also lead to difficulty tolerating differences of opinion, seeing our way as the only way. When we believe we hold a superior set of standards, we can see our partner as inferior for having a different viewpoint. The downside is that we end up enslaved to our high expectations, living in a lonely tower of judgment.
The other side of high expectations is that our partners can easily hurt us. Sometimes we find our partner’s behavior as hurtful because we would have acted differently. In couple’s therapy, I often hear one partner say, “I would never do that to you! I value our relationship.” Although this statement feels true, our partner may have a rationale different from ours. In addition, our partner may be unaware of how their behavior affects others due to their own struggles. The difficulty occurs when we view our partner’s behavior as a reflection of our worth, and do not consider other contributing factors.
Where do high expectations come from? We often learn high expectations from our family of origin. Our caregivers may have over-valued achievement, so we developed an identity based on accomplishment. From an attachment perspective, a child who adopts high expectations is being able to secure love and approval from their caregivers. Often high expectations continue into adulthood, leading to a constant pursuit of accomplishments. Each time we achieve something, we feel temporary satisfaction, followed by emptiness, then the pursuit of another goal.
Life becomes a hamster wheel, leaving us feeling depleted and empty.
High expectations can also result from absent or neglectful caregivers. We can learn to overcompensate for their limitations, making a vow not to repeat their mistakes.
If you struggle with high expectations of yourself, chances are you have a critical inner voice. One tool that can be helpful is to develop self-compassion. It is important to be vulnerable and being comfortable with our imperfections. Like most ongoing issues, we have difficulties with our progress, but perseverance is key.
Here are some ideas for adjusting high expectations in relationships:
1. Learn to question your assumptions and expectations. Instead of reacting with criticism toward your partner, try to slow things down and question your expectations. Are they realistic? One of my clients judged his partner because she had not obtained the same career goals as him. The partner was significantly younger, and held numerous jobs. He asked himself; what would a reasonably productive person have achieved at this point in their career? When he questioned his assumptions, he realized that she was very ambitious, but in her own way.
2. Connect with your own imperfection. Sometimes focusing on the mistakes and limitations of our partner is a way to distract from our own limitations. It can be helpful to ask; when do I make mistakes? What are my limitations? It can also be helpful to view ourselves from the outside and ask ourselves; how would I appreciate my partner to act towards me?
3. Practice gratitude for your partner. It is very easy to focus on our partner’s limitations, but what about their strengths. Why were you attracted to them? What did they teach you?
4. Learn to respect and be open to your partner’s point of view. Your partner has an alternative point of view that may bring something helpful to the situation. The challenge is to acknowledge and understand that view, then work toward a compromise.
5. Express your preferences and expectations in a gentle and moderate way. Being in a relationship means working to be relational, and part of that is sharing your thoughts and feelings. Often, if we can soften our approach to expressing our preferences and opinion (rather than a demand), the conversation tends to be much more productive.
. Use humor to take yourself less seriously. Being able to take a step back and see the humor of our responses can lighten the stress, and allow other ideas to come to mind.
7. Practice flexibility and choose your battles. It is easy to become fixated on a small detail and magnify its importance, especially in disagreement with our partner. Ask yourself; does this detail really matter to me? What sorts of expectations and preferences are draining my energy?
There are many benefits to having high expectations, and moving forward does not mean you have to abandon your standards. If we can take a step back and learn to tolerate difference, we can live a happier life. Relationships provide an opportunity for us to examine the conditioned ways we have been living and find a middle path.
Reflection Questions:
· Where do my high expectations come from?
· What positive impacts have high expectations had in my life?
· How have high expectations caused my loved ones or me difficulty?
· What is the hardest part of letting go of high expectations?
Insurance Coverage for Individual Therapy
What we need to know about Insurance Coverage for Individual Therapy.
You might think that insurance coverage for individual therapy is like medical insurance, but it’s different. Most insurance plans do not fully cover the cost counselling in Alberta for example.
Plans vary widely but on a typical private plan “core” insurance plans might cover as little as 25% or more of the cost of counselling depending on the plan. It can also be less if there is a cap on the number of sessions covered. (which is often the case)
It can get complicated. Most insurance providers recognize members of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) to be qualified for insurance reimbursement. CCPA Counsellors have been reimbursed by insurance providers across Canada, such as 1) Pacific Blue 2( Pacific Life, 3) Sun life, 4) Great West Life and 5) Manulife to name a few, who recognize members of CCPA and provide reimbursement of expenses for their clients.
So, Rule #1 save yourself disappointment and do not assume. Check your coverage in advance. Ifeatu Nwankwo holds a master degree in Clinical Counselling and is a member of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association and the Association of Counselling Therapy of Alberta.
Please note that full payments to your counsellor is at the time of the session. Your reimbursement comes upon submitting your receipts to your insurance provider. If your specific insurance provider still refuses to reimburse your counselling expense, your counsellor can also send a letter to your insurance provider (with your written permission) to advocate on your behalf.
You could be eligible for more coverage through your Health Spending Account, or “Wellness Spending Account” if you have one.
If all the above is not an option for you, please keep all of your counselling receipts for submission on your personal taxes as a health care expense.
Direct Billing
At this time Hartwell Counselling does not offer direct billing, and that could change in the future.
In Summary
We recognize that, too often for many individuals, counselling could be their last good shot at changing the course of their personal lives. It helps to get administrative matters like insurance, right. However, we should never allow a focus on administration matters to detract from what is most important getting the individual therapy help you need when you need it.
Can Counselling Help You Heal?
Counselling can be an effective treatment for a host of mental and emotional problems. Simply talking about your thoughts and feelings with a supportive therapist can often make you feel better. It can be very healing, in and of itself, to voice your worries or talk about something that’s weighing on your mind. And it feels good to be listened to—to know that someone else cares about you and wants to help.
While it can be very helpful to talk about your problems to close friends and family members, sometimes you need help that the people around you aren’t able to provide. When you need extra support, an outside perspective, or some expert guidance, talking to a counselor can help. While the support of friends and family is important, counselling is different. Counsellors are professionally-trained listeners who can help you get to the root of your problems, overcome emotional challenges, and make positive changes in your life.
You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental health problem to benefit from counselling. Many people in counselling seek help for everyday concerns: relationship problems, job stress, or self-doubt, for example. Others turn to therapy during difficult times, such as a divorce. But in order to reap its benefits, it’s important to choose the right counselor —someone you trust who makes you feel cared for and has the experience to help you make changes for the better in your life. A good counselor helps you become stronger and more self-aware.
Post -Acute Withdrawl Syndrome (PAWS)
Post -acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) is a collection of symptoms that begin when you stop using alcohol and other drugs. It is a normal part of the healing process of recovery.
These symptoms occur because of your brain chemistry is trying to re-balance itself. As your brain is working towards this new equilibrium a set of uncomfortable and distressing symptoms will occur. You may experience none, some or all of these symptoms:
Inability to think clearly: difficulty concentrating, rigid and repetitive thinking, difficulty grasping abstract ideas
Memory problems: short and long term memory loss, difficulty learning new skills and information
Emotional overreaction or numbness: mood swings, overreaction to small things, feeling emotional numb when you should feel something
Sleep problems: vivid nightmares, drinking or using dream dreams, insomnia or excessive sleeping
Physical coordination problems: dizziness, balance problems, slow reflexes, accident prone
Stress sensitivity: difficulty managing stress, trouble recognizing stressful situation, difficulty telling the difference between high and low stress situations
How long PAWS last depends on the steps that you are taking to change your lifestyle (eating and sleeping), using thoughts, feelings, actions and whatever other key elements of your lifestyle that needs to change.
Please reach out to the counselors at Hartwell counselling to discuss PAWS and other aspect of relapse and recovery. Remember you are not alone and healing starts with a desire within you.
Substance Use, Misuse and Dependency
Has your substance use become harmful? If you think this may be true for you, you are certainly not alone. According to the latest estimates, about 27.1 million people —approximately one in every 10 people—are current substance abusers.
Are you hesitant to seek help for your substance use? Again, you are not alone. In 2015, an estimated 21.7 million people needed substance use treatment, but only 3 million actually received any treatment.
If you have tried to quit or cut back on your own and found you were not able to do so, please consider reaching out to the therapists at Hartwell Counselling. We have over 20 years of experience helping those who have and were struggling with substance abuse. Learn more at our website: Hartwellcounselling.com
What is Substance use? • Use of alcohol or drugs occasionally without being addicted however comes with the risk that it can lead to addiction.
What is Substance misuse? • Regular use of alcohol or drugs which may be causing issues in your life that may affect your job, personal life, or even your safety. People who misuse drugs and alcohol often do it regardless of the consequences.
What is Substance dependency?• Also known as addiction. Symptoms of substance dependency include developing a tolerance for the drug, going through withdrawal symptoms without it, and struggling to cut back on it. There are many factors that can influence whether someone is dependent or addicted to drugs or alcohol, including socio-cultural, psychological and biological factors.
To be clear, someone can use substances and not be addicted or even have a substance use disorder, as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5).
When is it harmful?
Health officials consider substance use as crossing the line into substance abuse/addiction if that repeated use causes significant impairment, such as:
Health issues
Disabilities
Failure to meet responsibilities
Impaired control
Risky use
Social issues
In other words, if you drink enough to get frequent hangovers; use enough drugs that you miss work or school; smoke enough marijuana that you have lost friends; or often drink or use more than you intended to use, your substance use is probably at the abuse level. We at Hartwell Counselling are here to provide you with all the support necessary to assist you with recovery.
Is Illegal drugs Dangerous?
Generally, when most people talk about substance abuse, they are referring to the use of illegal drugs. Drugs of abuse do more than alter your mood. They can cloud your judgment, distort your perceptions, and alter your reaction times, all of which can put you in danger of accident and injury. These drugs are illegal for a reason; they can be potentially addictive and can cause severe negative health effects.
The most common illegal drugs in Canada
Crystal Methamphetamine
Cocaine
Hallucinogens
Ecstasy or Molly
Heroin
Is recreational use abusive?
Others argue that casual, recreational use of some drugs is not harmful and is merely use, not abuse. The most vocal of the proponents of recreational drug use are those who smoke marijuana. They argue that marijuana is not addictive and has many beneficial qualities, unlike the "harder" drugs. But recent research has shown that even marijuana may have more harmful effects than was first believed. Each year, new scientific studies find more ways that long-term marijuana use is harmful to your health. The myth that marijuana is not addictive has been debunked. Every one in seven marijuana users become dependent.
A word from Hartwell Counselling
Has your substance use become harmful? If you think this may be true for you, you are certainly not alone. According to the latest estimates, about 27.1 million people —approximately one in every 10 people—are current substance abusers.
Are you hesitant to seek help for your substance use? Again, you are not alone. In 2015, an estimated 21.7 million people needed substance use treatment, but only 3 million actually received any treatment.
If you have tried to quit or cut back on your own and found you were not able to do so, please consider reaching out to the therapists at Hartwell Counselling. We have over 20 years of experience helping those who have and were struggling with substance abuse. Learn more at our website: Hartwellcounselling.com